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top 10 secrets of apple iphone you dont know about

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posted by sonali and ashu

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1. “Retina” Display: Peers into your soul, unless you write for Associated Content or Demand Media, in which case you have no soul.

2. Internal gyroscope: Senses when you’re driving on a curvy road after drinking too many Jagermeister Red Bull cocktails and automatically launches the iHurl app. Bring a smock.

3. Internal gynoscope: It’s easy: Just extend, insert, collect data, and transmit. You’ll never have to visit your OBGYN again!

4. iSnob: The video chat’s iPhone 4-to-iPhone 4-only limitation is actually a feature. Soon, all iPhones will make calls and send texts only to other iPhones, too.

5. Stainless steel shell: Repels BBs shot at you by arrogant Android users determined to make the iPhone’s market share drop even faster.

6. Secret “DP” mode: Front- and rear-facing cameras capture three-way action like it’s never been captured before! (Just don’t try to watch the video on your iPhone afterwards, as that would constitute watching porn. And we all know what Chairman Jobs thinks about that.)

7. iDonate: One-tap sign-up for organ donor registries. Now Apple fanboys can offer kidneys, lungs, and other surplus squishy bits directly to Steve so he doesn’t have to buy a house in Asslick, Idaho, next time he needs an upgrade.

8. FaceTime video chat: Special “SausageTime” mode auto-pans to your genitals for those intimate ChatRoulette sessions.

9. iBooks: Steve Jobs can now see what you’re reading and, if He disapproves, automatically wipe that content from your phone. [Editors’ note: Amazon has already filed a patent infringement suit.]

10. Better power management: Allows for 7 hours talk time, which for AT&T customers works out to 17 minutes of actual conversation once you subtract time spent saying “What? Are you still there? I think I lost you. Let me step outside and see if this works any better. Hello?”

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